From Disconnected, Anxious and Unfulfilled in Relationship, to Secure, Connected and Fulfilled.
Though some people seem to slide into secure and loving relationship easily, staying there for years and being nourished by that loving attachment… many of us have trouble finding, staying open to, or staying in, a healthy intimate relationship.
If this is you.. quite likely you’ll experience one (or many) of the situations below:
> You have trouble discovering and expressing your thoughts, feelings or needs with another,
> You find yourself saying yes when you mean no and then feeling overwhelmed, overloaded and resentful,
> You feel deeply unsafe in love, and will fight, create drama, or freeze when you feel someone moving in close,
> You obsess about others; falling “in love” within moments and focussing completely on the other and their movements, behaviours and possible needs (ie. how to make them stay with you),
> Or you just say no ALL the time and then feel isolated, dissatisfied and undernourished.
Despite a full tank of intelligence and awareness, (as in, you know very well what you do and that you want something different) ..
These patterns of Not being able to find or hold a satisfying intimate relationship makes human relationships a painful place to be.
But, I want to share what I’ve found from 20+ years of exploring attachment and relationship…
There is always a good reason you behave in the way that you do and, most likely, those reasons are rooted in your early childhood experiences and in the automatic programming laid down at that time. And that is something we can work with.
The KEY to healthy and happy relationship is in working with your instinctual intelligence, the automatic programming in your nervous system.
You see, despite your awareness and intelligence, the behaviours named above are not arising from your rational or cognitive thinking. They are coming from automatic programming developed early in life and held in the instinctual-survival parts of your brain.
When we start to address the deeper body patterns at the root of your experience (via mindfulness, attachment theory and somatic awareness), we move closer to real, connected and satisfying intimacy with others.
But when we don’t address this instinctual/automatic programming piece of the puzzle, all the intelligence in the world wont make a difference to your ability to change your behaviours and your experience in intimacy when the chips are down.
We Are Wired For Intimacy
As humans, we are literally wired for connection. Our brains work better, our bodies heal faster and literally feel less pain when we feel love and loved by others. Intimacy and closeness can make life easier, richer, and more satisfying, when we heal these unconscious places of pain held in the body.
This is why I’ve created:
Attachment Therapy + Essence Coaching
This is for people interested in personal and spiritual growth who have hit a wall with the approaches they’ve taken so far in healing their love dynamics, and who are ready to drop deeper into their unconscious programming in a gentle and profoundly effective way.
> For people negotiating the boundaries of physical intimacy with another, who find themselves overgiving and getting hurt, or walling off their heart to avoid pain,
> For people who feel anxious in intimacy and want to open their hearts without leaving their sensitivity behind.
For people who’ve nearly given up on love and on ever “getting it”.. what ever that is that others seem to get from relationship,
> For Mums who struggle to give clear boundaries to their kids and end up with late bedtimes, kids getting colds/unwell or way out-of-line behaviour,
Because sometimes Awareness isn’t enough. Sometimes being able to describe the patterns isn’t enough and sometimes, the way you’ve always done it just ISN’T working anymore.
These sessions focus on:
> Getting you in your body
- So that you can feel where you are; physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically,
- So that you can meet yourself intimately and with compassion (really, the most important meeting here!),
- So that you know and express healthy boundaries (that aren’t collapsed or rigid),
- So that you can develop deep and satisfying intimate relationships.
> Getting clear on your specific needs
- Clarifying the strategies you have used up till now to get them met, shining a light on their impact.
- Tools for silencing the judgemental or strategising mind so you can know what you Actually want and need,
- So you can bring deep awareness to places you might go into numbness or override around intimacy,
- Receiving kind and compassionate listening so you can feel and meet your needs in a deep and compassionate way,
> Expressing your needs to yourself and others in a healthy and loving way
- So that you can be honest with Who you are and What you want,
- So that you can champion yourself and “own” these wants and needs,
- So you can express your self from a loving and connecting place, rather than combative or fearful.
- When you do this work, the mind and its strategies, worries or obsessions take a back seat. You begin to feel a much deeper sense of contact with and love for your inner experience,
- You spend much more time being present in your body and in present moment experience, and are thus able to respond to situations in intimacy, rather than in reaction,
- You become more trustworthy with yourself and able to take good care of your self,
- You become more trustworthy with others, they can begin to trust you will say what you mean,
- You experience less drama and more relaxation with others,
- Your own self love develops and it becomes easier for others to see you as love and loving,
- Your communication becomes cleaner, deeper truths have space to be spoken and heard,
- You experience others as soothing rather than threatening,
- As you meet and accept your needs and wants, deep intimacy (in-to-me-see)… really being seen and met as yourself, is possible (and the Nourishing of that meeting is delicious),
- Intimate relationships become a place to create and build on love in your life,
- Intimate relationships become a deep support for you in your life, giving you a ground for launching into the things you want to create (rather than being a stress that holds you back and preoccupies you),
Who runs this Program?
Amanda Patterson is a body-focussed Somatic and Attachment therapist with 20 years experience working in the healing arts, as well as Lead Faculty and Coach with the Essence School.
She is passionate about awakening that brings the spirit into the flesh and into our human lives. She believes the power and resonance, and therefore change, that is possible when we are in-our-bodies, and working with the intelligence of our bodies, is enormous.
“I first started working with Amanda about 2 years ago. Amanda’s natural care and tenderness was so easily felt, and her empathy undoubtedly present in our sessions. It’s very clear to me that Amanda has gone on her journey of self discovery and mastery in what she believes to create a fully enriched life, and experiencing this was a joy to behold in her presence. Of course this also gave myself permission and confidence to know that i too could cultivate these qualities in my own life. I found Amanda to hold deep, deep presence in our sessions, and the quality to which she could ‘unpack’ what was happening for me moment by moment was incredible. I believe that to work with Amanda is to give yourself permission, care and unconditional love to meet those parts of yourself, and uncover your true potential as LOVE walking this existence”. – Karen
“My session with Amanda was profound I felt: Safe, Held… Amanda was Real, Loving, Wise, Soft Yet strong and compassionate. I highly recommend Amanda as a passionate authentic being. I feel super grateful”Freer Within
“When I first started seeing Amanda I was experiencing severe pain and a sense of frozenness in my upper back, as well as significant pain in my arms and hands. Though I saw this pain as largely ergonomic (from working at a computer) I also had an inkling that there was a deeper trauma-related emotional component. I wanted to find a practitioner who would help me relieve my physical symptoms but who was also willing to engage with the emotional aspects of what I was experiencing in my body. Considering this, it was important for me to find someone especially sensitive and aware, someone I felt I could trust. The sessions with Amanda have been really eye-opening. She has tailored the sessions very much to my specific requirements, and our work with Somatic Experiencing has allowed for some major revelations. Working within an ongoing program structure has created a soothing rhythm to our sessions, which is something else I find helpful. Amanda has a quiet strength and a gentle sensitivity, both necessary traits when it comes to working with trauma and healing. I cannot recommend her highly enough!” J.C – Author
“I am in awe about Amanda’s gift to bring out hidden gems within myself, to help me reconnect with my deep sense of self in the safest, most gentle but effective way. I got such a strong sense of BEING, at home in my body, of loving who I am after the sessions. Amanda works from a very intuitive and wise place to walk hand in hand with you the path into the unknown of your wise self. What a beautiful adventure! Find out for yourself!” – Melanie, musician and mother
“I had the good fortune of working with Amanda recently. I had a painful emotional issue that Amanda helped me to shift, she held a beautiful space for me and gave me some helpful techniques to use to continue to shift some long held anger. I was afraid of how that anger might be expressed if I let it out but Amanda gave me a gentle, but still very effective, technique to use. Thanks Amanda xx” – Kaye, mother
Read more about her here
What is this Program?
This Program is a series of sessions focussed on facing and freeing you from habitual patterns of unhealthy behaviour in intimacy. We use a combination of Somatic Experiencing, Attachment therapy, Parts Dialogue and embodiment practices. Sessions take place online over Zoom.
Is this a group program or 1-on-1?
This Program is designed as a 1-on-1 program so we can go slowly and with great care into these patterns and into the hearts’ tender domain
How is this Program Offered?
It is offered in 2 different Tiers (number of sessions), along with articles, audios and guided meditations designed to bring secure attachment into your physiology and safety in relationships into your body. Each package includes:
> Meditations, articles + videos on:
- Repatterining your Welcome to the World
- Establishing a competent protector,
- Boundaries and working with the super-ego/inner judge
- Working with vulnerability,
- “The attachment gaze”,
- Exercises for building body resiliency .. videos, tools, practices for calming the nervous system and switching on the vagus nerve with sound and movement,
- How to trust again when your been hurt.
These resources and tools are all delivered by email and stored in a shared folder in Google docs.
Each package also includes:
- Integration of session content; each online call will be recorded so you can revisit. I also highlight the most impactful moments of shift and send it to you via email for you to revisit and embody.
- Embodiment ‘assignments’ to action.
Tier 1 includes the above resources and 6 x 1hr sessions taken over a period of 3 months and is $1199
Tier 2 includes the above resources and 10 x 1hr sessions taken over a period of 3.5 months and is $1999
Payment plans are available
To apply for this package or ask any questions, please email Amanda@wisdombody.com.au
Applications include a free 30min consult via Zoom
Fields marked with an * are requiredWhat draws you to apply for Express Yourself in Love? *What is your biggest frustration around intimacy and expression? *Do you have a history of abuse, early childhood trauma or neglect? *If we both feel about good about working together and you are accepted into the program, what would you most like to address in your sessions? *What would be the best outcome for you from doing this work? Please be specific *How did you hear about Express Yourself in Love? *Are you applying for in-person sessions in Ocean Shores, Paddington or Online? If online, please enter your Skype name here: *7. Is there anything else Amanda needs to know about you or your experience with intimacy and expression?: Name *Email *What is thirteen minus 6? *